Life just keeps us running. There were several things that happened over the weekend that very much captured our attention. Some for good and some for bad. For the sake of time, we will only look at the highlight of our weekend today. The other things will have to wait.
Saturday was a very big day for us. As you all know, through organ donation, Hannah was able to save four lives. Saving those lives became the focus and goal of our decision after we saw her heart slowing down at a critical rate with no hope for recovery. With her completely unaware of the situation and her condition being so fragile, the time of donation became a finish line that we had to cross. When we made the decision to donate, we were thinking about others, and as we said our final goodbyes, those “strangers” too were in our broken hearts and on our minds. Our situation couldn’t be changed, but we had the opportunity, or perhaps the responsibility, to change their situations. Hannah’s life was ending, but their lives could begin again! Our hearts were crushed, but soon, the hearts of their families could delight again. We say it this way, we couldn’t stop the plane from crashing, but we could control where it was going to land.
As Hannah was in the operating room and we waited to hear of her passing, we knew that those other people were in operating rooms too. They were prepped for surgery and their families were in waiting rooms, just like us. That day at 3:57, a transfer of life began, life in the form of organs. Also transferred were the hopes and dreams of life and of a future, and maybe even a love for hot chocolate.
That same day of Hannah’s donation, there was a young woman in the same hospital, waiting for her “Gift of Life.” In fact, it was her third attempt. She had been prepped before, only to awaken with the same problems, concerns, and fears that she went in with due to organ viability concerns. But this time was different! This time she woke up having received a very special, a very personal gift. Recovery wasn’t fun or easy and healing takes time. There are lots of follow-up appointments, and there are medications too. Often, a recipient has to take antirejection medications their entire life. Organ donation is a life saving and a life changing journey for everyone involved.
This past Saturday we were able to meet our first of Hannah’s recipients, in person, for the first time. We met with Abby and her husband Rich at a deli on the shore of lake Michigan. We hugged, ate, shared our stories, shed a tear or two, and appreciated this very unique and special thing that brought our lives together, called organ donation. Organ donation is as terrible as death itself and yet as beautiful as birth and a new life at the same time. Saving lives comes at a very high price and a cost that is never forgotten, but seeing, hugging, and talking to that new friend, that real, tangible, and extraordinary life, is also a very special experience.
One of the most curious things she told us about her recovery is that she woke up from the operation craving hot chocolate. Although she came here as a child from the Philippines many years ago, she had tried hot chocolate, but it was never something that she really cared for. She was very surprised at this new and immediate craving. She asked us if Hannah liked hot chocolate and, of course, yes! Hannah loved hot chocolate and would drink it nearly every day as she studied. Whether it was by the scoop, packet, or k-cup, it didn’t matter, she had all the packages. Abby told us that since her surgery, she now has a “need” for hot chocolate, just like Hannah did. She has to have it almost every day. It’s funny how these thing happen! As we said goodbye, we reminded Abby that although she was nearly our age, she was now, in part (.63%), “our daughter,” and in an exceptional way, she is family.
Some people have asked if we can truly feel happy about any of the good that came out of our loss because we will always know at what cost it came. Obviously, there’s no way around the fact that losing Hannah is catastrophic to us. It hunts us night and day. It’s bigger than a memory and it’s always living, always lurking in our minds. The memories and emotions of that one event seem to be tied to everything, and even in the silence of the night, its presence is always felt. It’s a shadow so black that it can still be seen in the darkness, but with all that being said, we can definitely still rejoice in the genuine help, hope, and healing that this situation has produced. We can’t have rainbows without rain! We can’t choose our problems, but we can choose our reactions. Life is about making decisions! We accept both the good and the bad things as being part of God’s plan, then we decide to Do right: breathe, take small steps, and keep moving forward!
We are blessed.
Hannah Helps 