It’s the middle of the night, and again I’m awake. There’s no way to get all these things completely out of my mind. The events of that first night just keep playing over and over again. At some point, it’s best for me to just get up and do something constructive. As I’ve said before, there’s a big part of me that can’t fully understand everything that’s happened. Like Sherlock Holmes on a case, my brain keeps reliving things as if somehow something can change the past. The night is the worst time for this. It seems like during the day, there are plenty of things to do to keep my focus and attention on other things, but at night, it’s by far the most prominent problem on my mind. I was reminded of a picture that I saw on Facebook a while back. I’m attaching it to this post. It’s of a man pulling a cart with his head on the cart. It seems pretty symbolic to what happens to a person after these tragic events. Our minds can become a burden that drags us down rather than the tool that we need to help us move forward. The biggest struggles in life are fought in the six inches between my ears.
Keeping my mind focused on the things that it should be thinking about isn’t easy. It naturally seems inclined to “hold me back” and the trauma of our loss is deeply scarred into it. Like a scratch on a CD or DVD (for those old enough to remember them. LOL), just when I think that things are getting better, it comes around again, and my brain wants to get stuck. My trust in the Lord and a willingness to accept His will over my own is where I need to keep my confidence. While reading Romans 12:1-2 the other day, I was reminded of two of the key components of my life as a believer in Christ. First, I need to live my life as a living sacrifice to the Lord, and second, I need to prevent myself from letting this world press me into its mold. At this time, I believe that living my life as a sacrifice to the Lord means that I’m willing to accept whatever path that He has laid out in front of me. It’s saying as Jesus did before He sacrificed himself, “Not my will, but Thine be done.” (Luke 22:42)
Once I’m willing to live as the sacrifice, there’s a constant battle taking place. The “world” (all that is anti-God), is constantly trying to pressure me into what it wants me to be. Like a submarine in the depths of the sea, the pressure on my life to give up on God is all encompassing and extreme at times. The Bible’s prescription to get relief and to live a “transformed life” is for me to “renew my mind”. It’s an ongoing process of actively and intentionally focusing my mind back onto the things of the Lord. This must begin by reading and studying the Bible for myself in order to gain a Biblical knowledge base. Babies need to be spoon fed, but spiritual maturity requires us to “feed ourselves”. Don’t let your spiritual meals only come on Sunday. Read, study, and feed yourself from God’s word, then church can be a place of iron sharpening iron rather than a nursery. Church attendance is also the way in which we are helped to gain knowledge, and it also provides us with accountability. Hebrews 10:25 instructs believers to not stop meeting together with other believers because we need to be encouraging each other, especially as we get closer to the Lord’s return. Christian music, radio, and even things on the internet can help us to live free from the pressure of this world. I have enjoyed watching Drive Through History lately. It’s on Amazon Prime and YouTube even. If I fill my mind with Biblical, Godly things rather than just entertaining it with the empty junk food of this world, I will be well on my way to living a transformed life. If we renew our minds, we will do things that are good, pleasing, and mature in the sight of God. Renewing my mind also helps me to deal with these hard times because it puts my focus on God rather than myself. I see that this life is a lot bigger than me. I see that I don’t have all the answers. I see that God has purposes and designs that are far more intricate than I could have dreamed. I see that my life here on earth has a purpose. I see that there is more living to do after my death than before it. I see that Hannah’s life was impactful while living and even now while in heaven.
Don’t let your mind neutralize you. Renew it!
We are blessed
Hannah Helps 