Well, it’s been a busy holiday season! We were able to have some close friends over. Nathan and Amanda had worked with us back in our days at the camp. A year ago, at this time, Amanda had been diagnosed with cancer and was preparing for chemotherapy. Nathan and I both have chronic fatigue relating to lymes disease that we have struggled with for many years. Throughout almost the entire year Amanda had her chemo treatments. It was a difficult time for them and their family. They are several years younger than us. When I called them from the hospital in November to tell them about Hannah, I first asked them how they were doing. I was very happy to hear that they had just returned from Amanda’s first doctor’s appointment following the treatments, in which she was told that the cancer was gone. It was obviously a very exciting day for them. Then I had to tell them about Hannah. Although it seems like, often, misery loves company, that isn’t always the case. In fact, we were very excited to hear about Amanda’s victory and I felt sad to have to dampen the mood. They now live a couple of states away, but we had been able to visit them once during that time, towards the end of the treatment, when she was feeling ok, just before another round of chemo. This time it was their turn to come and visit us.
Having them over these past several days, was a vacation for all of us. They were able to get away from home and enjoy a family trip together. Visiting is something that they were unsure when or if they would ever be able to do a year ago. It was a vacation for us too as we were able to take a break from our life for a few days and focus on something different. Yes, there were some tears as we would remember and mis Hannah. She wasn’t here to play games, to assemble the puzzle, and she wasn’t in the traditional picture of the kids together, that we take each time we see each other.
Like we have said before, there’s no hiding from the reality of our loss, yet there is more to life than the misery of that loss. We are sad, we don’t forget, and we wish that things were different, but nothing of the past can be changed, God had a different plan, she’s in a better place, and we need to continue to live while cherishing the memory of the time that we had with Hannah as well as looking forward to seeing her again someday in heaven. Her life didn’t end when her body died, she got “an upgrade”! We just can’t see that yet with our physical eyes. Some day we will see her again. Some day too, we will give an account for our time on this earth.
In this new year, we want to maintain a heavenly mindset, not an earthly one. As we do this, we always want to do right in every situation, and in the hard times we breathe, take small steps, and keep moving forward. That isn’t a recipe for a “happy life” in hard times, it’s just a mindset to help us through them. Although we do want a “much better” year this year, we want to be faithful to the Lord’s mission for our lives even more!
Happy New Year!
We are blessed.
Hannah Helps 