Well, this is Father’s Day weekend. As I sit down to write, I’m not sure even where to begin. What does it even mean to be a father? It seems like a simple enough question, but like many other subjects, it may only be simple when considered in generalities. Certainly, since I have a father and have been one for nineteen years now, I should be able to easily spell this all out. But maybe it’s harder to explain, to some extent, because being a father isn’t something that can be easily described or taught. There is no class on fatherhood in school. In fact, it seems like the “modern” society that we live in is only concerned with the basic biological connection of children with their “dad,” and it does nothing to prepare a boy/man for that life changing step of responsibility that we call “fatherhood.”
Yes, responsibility is a big part of being a father. This world seems to dumb down fatherhood as it tries to redefine everything. Entertainment began making dads simple, carefree, clueless, foolish, and detached. It has basically removed the father from the home and replaced him with a “male figure.” Mothers have been forced to take on the role of both parents as the “modern father’s” responsibilities have been redefined and eroded. Further complicating this problem is that the role of a father is implicitly tied to the role of being a husband. In fact, marriage is where fatherhood is supposed to begin. Rearing children is a team responsibility. In a team like this, neither person is superior nor inferior to the other, but rather they are both equal in standing, but with each having different roles. Equality does not mean “sameness.” Both are of the same value, but each has a different role to play. The unity of the differences combines for a more complete, cohesive, and stronger whole. In marriage and then in parenting, two become “one.” One more complete and stronger team, maximizing the strengths of each and minimizing their weaknesses. So, what are some of the responsibilities of a father? To name a few, they include leader, provider, security, wisdom, example, correction, and loving support. Each of these are lengthy subjects for another day.
The responsibilities of being a father can be overwhelming to many. In a world that embraces selfishness and feelings, committing to the responsibility of fatherhood leaves many males running away as the first “inconveniences” begin to “cramp their style.” Simply put, the commitment to fatherhood requires a lot of that four-letter word, WORK. Since forever, work and fun have fought for our time and attention. Given the option, most of us would choose the immediate pleasure of fun today over the rewards, tomorrow, provided by work. As silly as it is to say, “Fun” is FUN and “Work” is WORK! The words themselves carry their own, strong connotative meaning to us. Being a father does require work, but a wise man looks beyond his “feelings” today and prioritizes the rewards of tomorrow.
As we have discussed, fatherhood comes with many responsibilities, and it requires a lot of work. So, how does a man begin this journey of fatherhood and why would he “give up his freedom” in exchange for work? In one word, LOVE, is the answer. True, genuine love needs to be the driving force behind a man becoming a husband and then a father. Not a love for himself, that comes too naturally, but instead, a love for his wife and his family that’s willing to put his own selfish desires aside. Love is another broad term that we use today, and it’s often a euphemism for lust. The Bible describes love by its attributes in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Here we read that love is patient, kind, not jealous, not rude, it doesn’t seek its own advantages or advancement, it isn’t irritable, it doesn’t keep a record of infractions, it seeks justice and truth, it puts up with things, it gives the benefit of the doubt, it’s optimistic, it’s enduring, and it never fails. This true, genuine love needs to be at the core of being a father. Love makes a father out of a dad.
In this culture, good examples of sacrificial love and fatherhood are few and far between, but Jesus was the ultimate example of this love. He came humbly and meekly to this cold and cruel world. He healed many while teaching love and peace through a proper understanding of life, the way God intended it to be lived. Ultimately, He gave up His own life, out of love, even for the very people who were taking it. With the omnipotence of God tempered by this unwavering love, He quietly sacrificed His own life to provide salvation to all that would ask Him for it. No greater love can be demonstrated then when a man lays down his life for another (John 15:13).
In 2025 it doesn’t take a village to rear children, it takes parents. Becoming a dad is easy, but being a good father takes work and commitment driven by real love. A man can quickly become a dad, but little by little, day by day he becomes a loving father. We are handed our children as babies and as they grow, so do we. It’s true that at times it can feel like work, but the rewards of being a father will always outweigh the empty and unfulfilling life of those who choose to live selfishly. Fatherhood is a process. It begins by always attempting to do right and when things are tough, we breathe, take small steps, and keep moving forward! Today we celebrate our fathers on this day. They have been the examples to us of this same type of love. As we grew, so did they. They worked hard, provided for our needs, kept us safe, gave wise advice, corrected us when necessary, and most of all, they loved us, and they still do! Happy Father’s Day We are blessed.
Hannah Helps 