Yesterday began with my update regarding the news of the organ recipients, but it also was our church Christmas program. Hannah would have been involved if she were here. The reminder of these things are just a part of daily life right now. As I think that I said before, when you are immediate family, the reminders are everywhere, without and within. Sights, sounds, smells, and situations all remind us of her absence, and we can’t hide from them or pretend that they do not exist. Also, just before leaving our house, we saw a message that a mother wrote to us. It was about her son being served a dessert with peanut butter in it, by a teacher. Before he took it, her son asked the teacher if there were any nuts in it, and the teacher said no. Apparently, he was not aware that his wife had made it with peanut butter. She went on to say that her son is primarily allergic to almonds, but after taking a bite of the treat, he knew that there was some sort of nut in it. He left to get some Benadryl and to call his mom. He mentioned that he was feeling nauseous and felt like there was some swelling in his mouth. His mom had him go immediately to the nurse, rather than him lying down, which was what he felt like doing. He went to the nurse, and she sent him to the hospital. In the end, he recovered nicely, and his mother was expressing her appreciation for our story because she mentioned that she may have let him lie down since it wasn’t too bad. This was good news on the one hand, and frustrating on the other. It really is a reminder to us of how serious people with allergies need to be and how careful and sensitive the rest of us need to be.
Well, we left for church, but as we pulled into the parking lot, I got a text telling us that my cousin was notified that he was tentatively scheduled for his double lung transplant later in the day. We were excited for him, but it also hit us hard that someone else, at that point, was in the same situation as us a few weeks earlier. They were likely waiting for their honor walk, surrounded by family, yet my cousin’s family was gathering too. There is a lot of hope and joy on the receiving end, but there is also tremendous risk. The dichotomy of this is immeasurable. It was hard to even go into church at that point. It seemed like there is so much going on in this “new life” of ours that sitting still and listening to the program would be impossible. I am an usher, however, and that means that I remain in the lobby of the church during the service. This allowed me to pace back and forth, burning off the tension creating energy. Janean picked up, and then sat with ten of our bus kids during the service, so her hands were full as she was busy as well. Shortly after coming into church, someone briefly told me about a friend of hers that had called earlier in the week to tell her that she had to use her EpiPen and go to the hospital as well because of an allergic reaction. I am telling you that this is everywhere, but in all fairness, it was this way far before our situation. I guess we needed a “wake up” call to see it.
My cousin prefers privacy, so I mention these things only briefly. After nearly a twelve-hour surgery, that began before the lungs even arrived, at around 4 this morning, the surgery was completed and the surgeon was pleased with the results. He will remain in critical condition for some time. We stayed awake at our home and prayed for them until he was back in his room. Although we are a more of a distant relationship, I can see that God is using his story still in our lives. God used his situation to begin to show us His plan for us with the organ donation, and now, only five weeks after Hannah’s donation, we are seeing a glimpse of the other side of the process. Most people never experience even one of these! Before he went in, I sent him a message reminding him that he was where God wanted him to be, and so was the other person. There need not be guilt or shame because, to God, “It is all going according to plan”. When life falls apart around us, we need to remember that there is more to life than just living, God is in control, we don’t even fully see or understand our part in that plan, and from His perspective, “It is all going according to the plan”. Colossians 3:2 reminds us to, “Set our affections on things above, not on things on the earth.”
Also, I have heard from several people who say that I need to write a book. Honestly, at this point I feel like I am just writing a newspaper. I am just telling the story of what God seems to be doing in us and through us as it happens. This is less historical right now and more live action. God is not done with us. He has not shown us the path forward or the conclusion of these things either. The story of life is a daily walk, full of surprises. Like I mentioned weeks ago, it’s like riding a rollercoaster without a seatbelt. There are highs, there are lows, sometimes you are in the cart, and sometimes you are just hanging on for dear life.
We are blessed.
Hannah Helps 