Let’s continue on from where we left off yesterday. I was thinking about how other people may come into conflict when facing the decision to donate organs and end up with a very different experience than we had. I can understand that if an adult donor, by themself, made this decision, and did not notify family of their wishes and/or were unable to do so at the end of their life, then that could be a set up for what I may refer to as doctor/family conflict, thus leading to a negative impression of the process, and as we all know, bad news travels quickly, loudly, and broadly. I can understand that when a donor makes that decision, they are, in fact, “deputizing” the doctors to make that “final call” with their life and organs. Those doctors, in my mind, are then facing two key questions: “Is there any more that can be done, and can this life any longer be saved?”, and “At what point are we jeopardizing other people’s lives, and the legal, expressed wishes, of the donor, to donate those organs and to save those other lives?” So, I can see where the responsibility placed on the hospital staff is to do all they can for their patient, but not “at all costs”. If the condition of the donor deteriorates, and the organs begin to become unviable for donation, then the doctors are at risk of failing to comply with the donors wishes, which may put them at possible legal risk, and up to 8 other people may not get a second chance at life. That is a lot of responsibility! Having just been there myself, I understand how a family would have a difficult time with doctors making this decision for their loved one, but the reality is that their loved one already made that decision, and both willfully and intentionally placed that decision in the hands of the doctors, not their family’s. It is hard for family to “let go”, and the emotions and stress are at peak levels. This is by no means an “easy decision” for anyone. Maybe another analogy would be the option that a person has to choose, “do not resuscitate” as part of their medical instructions. So, in the event of the patient’s heart stopping there in the hospital bed, the medical staff have to abide by those wishes of the patient, but the family certainly may struggle with that, and understandably so. These truly are the hardest of times and decisions.
Further complicating things may be the advancements in technology. Today’s technology can “maintain” some form of life for a very long time. Let’s use our situation for this one. So, Hannah’s life officially ended with the stopping of her heart at 3:57 pm Sunday, November 10. But our modern technology could have kept that heart beating artificially for a very long time. The ventilator kept her body supplied with oxygen for the entire time. Without the ventilator she would have died on the 4th. So, a natural death was “prevented” by the technology, AND WE VERY MUCH APPRECIATE THAT, but as her brain deteriorated from the trauma caused by the lack of oxygen that first night, it was getting harder and harder to “maintain life”. All the ventilators and pumps in the world could not change the declining condition of her brain, but they could sustain “life” in some form. So, from a family members perspective, it could easily appear that “more could be done”, but from the medical professional’s perspective, more would not help, it would only prolong the death, and in that prolonged time of decline, the life-saving organs would become unviable, and up to 8 others may literally die. Further they know that they were “deputized” by that patient, to prioritize others, if their own life could not be saved. Prolonging “life” does not always mean saving life, and that crucial time wasted may very much cost the life of someone else. These are the hardest of decisions, made at the most difficult of times, and as such, there will always be strong feelings and opinions. Each situation is unique, and as I mention occasionally in these posts, I am only giving my perspective from my experience based on our situation. I am by no means a pattern for everyone. As I stated yesterday, we have not made the decision to donate organs ourselves. This was a “case specific” decision for us. My opinion is that, since there needs to be several days in order to do the organ donation process, there will be time for us to make that decision then. If there isn’t time to decide, there probably isn’t time to donate either. (This, of course, would not be relevant if a person was by themself in the hospital.) For those who do know that they want to be or are organ donors already, please make those wishes clearly and emphatically known to your family. It will help them better understand things, should that time come. Also, it may prevent them from suffering a lifetime of frustration and anger over events that took place by your wishes and according to your plan and instructions to the doctors. These are not easy things.
Janean reminded me that while the doctors were meeting for the final time that night, we discussed these things, and already knew what we needed to do before the final doctor “rolled his chair in.” Then after he gave us the bad news, we told him that clearly God had a purpose in this. We thanked him for his efforts and commitment to doing everything possible to help Hannah. Then we told him that we would like to pursue organ donation. He told us that, that was “not his department” and that we could think about it longer. Janean, while looking at Hannah in the bed next to us, asked him if there was any more that could be done and if there was any chance that her condition could improve. He put his head down and said, “no”. She then told him that if there was nothing more that could be done, and since we already knew what we needed to do, then we were ready to begin the process. Please do not think that because I can write this, that somehow any of this was “easy”. Believe me, IT WAS NOT, but we knew that God was with us and that He was making our path clear. We did right, we breathed, we took small steps, and we kept moving forward.
Even when it’s not easy,
We are blessed.
Hannah Helps 