I don’t think that I’ve explained our experience with the organ donation process here on this page. As with all personal experience stories, there are things that happened in our situation that may or may not be the same for everyone. So, this was only our experience. Also, before we even get into this conversation, I will make it clear that although we are confident that we made the right decision with Hannah, we have not declared ourselves to be organ donors. Whether we do or do not in the future, remains to be seen. Further, this subject was not a topic of discussion until the very end. We were always hoping and praying for her recovery until the Lord seemed to be making His will clearly known.
On Friday night November 8/9th around midnight, the final doctor rolled a chair into our room to lay the situation out as clearly as he could. We were at the foot of Hannah’s bed, and it was dark, except for the light given off by all the equipment and monitors. It was hard for him to tell us the news, but the facts were evident, and the status of her condition was determined by teams of doctors, each a specialist in their specific fields and each wanting her to recover. Her heart was slowing way down due to the condition of her brain. This was, unfortunately, the ending of the process that began the previous Monday night. So, he rolled his chair in, gave us the update, apologized for having to give us that kind of news, and then gave us time to process the information. Organ donation had been something that we had heard of, but had never had to think seriously about, but with the situation that we were finding ourselves in, every thought goes through your head like a whirlwind, around and around. The day before this, my cousin came to the same hospital to begin the process for his needing to receive an organ donation. After his appointment, we met in the hospital cafeteria to discuss each other’s struggles and to encourage each other. It was at that point that the idea of organ donation became less theoretical and more of a reality. So, in that hospital room on Friday night, with our hopes crushed and our hearts lying on the floor, we decided that, if we could save other lives and prevent other parents and families from experiencing that depth of pain, then we had to do it. We realized that if we gave up something that we could not keep, others could literally LIVE!
With the decision made, we told the doctor that we needed to steer things in that direction. To be perfectly clear, no one ever mentioned organ donation at the hospital. This was all “us” and the Lord. The hospital contacted Versiti, the blood and organ donation group in our area. We waited an hour or so before the two representatives were able to arrive at our room. (We “bottomed out” emotionally and physically during the period between the news of her true condition and the news of her “actually gone” at 3:57pm on the 10th.) In our state, Wisconsin, we as parents had the right to make this decision even though Hannah was 19 and had not made it herself previously. We learned that becoming a donor was not as easy as putting a sticker on a driver’s license. It required us to read or hear and understand exactly what we were doing. The donation process was broken up into several levels of donation. I don’t want to get into everything here, but the levels began with the primary organs, then worked down to “lesser” non-life saving donations. Each level required a confirmation of understanding and a signature.
After completing the “paperwork” we had to discuss the timing. There is a misunderstanding out there that says that if a person becomes an organ donor, their life would be less important than their “donation status”, in the event of a situation such as this. Further, some think that the donor’s life will be ended “prematurely” in order to save others. These are not true at all. To the first concern, Hannah’s life was by far the priority for us, the hospital, and Versiti all the way until the very end. Should there have been any indication of change in her condition, saving her life would have been the first and only priority at that point. They do not “take a life” to save a life. This is only done when the donor’s life cannot be saved. Furthermore, even though we signed the paperwork for the organ donation process, we could have “changed our minds” and stopped things all the way up to the very end. Her health and our wishes always superseded the organ donation process. To the second concern, the organ donation organization needed as much time as we would give them. Organizing the logistics of the process takes time. Extensive blood work and testing needed to be done on the donor end, in order to be able to even begin to find “matches” on the list. Once those matches are made, then the recipient and their surgeon have to be notified and mobilized to fit the timeframe that WE gave. Versiti would have preferred five days or so, but we could only give one and a half. On Sunday the 10th, the day that we set, when her blood pressure had become unstable and we had to give permission to resuscitate her body in order to make it to the 2 o’clock scheduled time, we were thankful that we did not allow more time. Versiti informed us that the recipient’s surgeon is the one who comes personally to the hospital to inspect and take the organ that they need. Then they, again, personally, take that organ quickly to their waiting patient and immediately begin the transplant procedure. So, more time leads to more matches, from greater distances if need be, a smoother, safer process, and ultimately more lives saved. They will keep a person alive “longer than necessary” in order to safely complete the donation process. Hannah’s life would have ended in the middle of the night Friday night/early Saturday morning if we had not chosen this path. It took considerable emotional and physical effort to “keep her alive” until the scheduled time. To repeat, again, if there was any indication of improvement or positive change, even with the recipient’s surgeons in the room, the process would have stopped, and Hannah would have been the priority for everyone. Saving lives does come at the expense of a life, but it does not “take a life” in order to do so. That life was already taken from us by a collapsed lung after a bite of brownie with peanut flour in it 6 days before.
When the time for the donation to take place arrived, we all, as a family, walked beside her bed from her ICU room down to the operating room. This final step is called the “Honor Walk.” Friends, family, hospital staff, and visitors line the halls to honor the donor and their family in this decision. Hannah had around three hundred people come out on a cold rainy Sunday afternoon to honor her life and her sacrifice. This was the largest honor walk that this large hospital had ever seen, and for a short time, they were turning people away because there was no more room. There really is no way of expressing the emotions during this time. We were exhausted, broken, numb, thankful, humbled, and blessed by those who came out to honor her. We all knew where we were going and what we were doing. Each step was one step closer to that final goodbye, and we knew it, and we felt it! For us, the honor walk ended with us having a few moments to say our final goodbyes outside the operating room doors. Then after we “finished”, we gave the “nod”, and she left us and went into the operating room. We walked back to a private waiting room until we were told of her passing.
One huge factor that helped us make this decision was that Hannah’s brain was so damaged that she was unaware of anything after she lost consciousness on that previous Monday night. She was not suffering, only we were, but we were also faced with the opportunity to keep others from suffering like we were. With God’s help we knew what to do and we: did right, breathed, took small steps, and kept moving forward. Hannah’s primary organs saved four lives, and her other donations helped countless others in ways that we will never know. “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” (John 15:13) God chose to take her life, but He allowed Hannah and us to save the lives of others, as He did.
We are blessed.
Hannah Helps 