After nearly a month now, things have gotten slightly “easier.” We are able to resume a fairly normal life, most of the time. It does, however, only take a little thing to send us backwards. Healing is a slow process. Maybe I should define what I am considering “healing” to be. In my mind, healing will result in my being able to think, talk, and be reminded of what has happened without losing composure inside myself, even if others do not see it, I don’t want to feel like I am pulled backwards into those days. I think healing will also fully be achieved when I can completely rest on the acceptance of what has happened rather than fighting feelings of doubt, regret, and playing the “what if” game inside my head. As time passes, there are many opportunities to over analyze things. Although every time I relive and consider what has taken place, I end up at the same conclusion, yet that doesn’t stop my mind from trying to figure things out differently. I think that we by nature try to oversimplify and rationalize things down, looking for one key event or problem that, if handled differently, would have changed the outcome entirely. In sports, it’s that one call or play that “made all the difference”, but in this story there’s nothing, short of several of us having divine omniscience, that would have changed this outcome. Unfortunately, that isn’t a possibility. So, I think healing will have occurred when we aren’t pulled backwards by reminders of our loss. Distraction, avoidance, and denial aren’t healing; they may be, at best, coping mechanisms initially, but they are not a long-term solution or a substitute for healing. Like with a scar on the skin, healing will not completely hide what has happened, but it will prevent the wound from reopening, and it will also provide a certain amount of flexibility when handling the reminders and discussions of this past month.
Our faith in God is the key to our healing. I was reading John 11 this week. It tells of Jesus going to Bethany to visit two sisters, Mary and Martha, who had just lost their brother, Lazarus, to a sickness. After Lazarus had been dead a few days, Jesus arrived and spoke to Martha, telling her that her brother would live again. She told Him that she knew that he would eventually live again “in the resurrection in the last day” (John 11:24) Although that was true, He made a point to tell Martha that, “HE is the resurrection and the life”. He was and still is the power and personification of a second or “new life”. He continued, in verses 25-26, by saying that anyone who lives and believes in Him, even though they die (physically), they would continue to live. He was speaking of a spiritual resurrection, or second life of the soul, that doesn’t end with the physical death of the body. This is where we get the understanding that there is more to life than just being alive. A few verses later we see that Jesus cried, even though He knew what He was about to do, after seeing the sorrow that death causes here on earth, and then He went and brought Lazarus back to life again. Obviously, Lazarus still died eventually, because death comes to all due to sin, but for a time, he was reunited here on earth with his family.
The “strength” that we have is based in the belief that, although Hannah has died here on earth, she is “living again” with Jesus. If things and relationships on this earth were all we had, we would be devastated, but instead we aren’t hopeless because we believe not only that Jesus, “is the resurrection and the life” (John 11:24), but also that Jesus died, rose again, and conquered the penalty of death on our behalf. And that those who believe in Him, as Hannah did, will be with Him and come back with Him. (I Thessalonians 4:13-16) Yes, believe me, we definitely sorrow, but we are by no means hopeless. Hannah still lives because she believed in the Creator, the One who lived and conquered death for us. We are hopeful not hopeless, we are joyful even though we are not happy, we are “strong” even when we are weak. Paul says it best In I Corinthians 15:54-58 when he says, “So when this corruptible (physical) shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is your sting O grave, where is your victory? The sting of death is (because of) sin; and the strength of sin is (because of or proven by) the law. But thanks be to God, which gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.” Be strong in Him!
We are blessed.
Hannah Helps 