Yesterday, in the first snow of the year for us, we went and picked up Hannah’s cremated remains and urn. It was and is a strange mix of emotions. There is still a strong sense of disbelief. “Is this really happening?” goes through our heads frequently. Having now, this physical, tangible, memorial of her physical life and body is nice, in one sense, because we now have something to see and to “hold on to”, but it’s also very sad because this is certainly not the same relationship that we had before. But, then again, it is “good to have her home”, and it does seem to bring some small sense of closure. Like every day so far, we are making adjustments, one small step forward at a time.
I have also been thinking about the funeral. Although I am not an avid reader, I am aware of an opening line from the book, A Tale of Two Cities, by Charles Dickens, in which he states, “It was the worst of times, it was the best of times.” That pretty much sums up my feelings on the funeral for Hannah, and although funerals are never really a pleasant occasion, they have always reminded me of a verse, in the Bible, written by King Solomon in Ecclesiastes 7:2. In this verse he says, “It is better to go to the house of mourning, then to go to the house of feasting, for that is the end of all men; and the living will lay it to heart.” Here, once again, we are faced with a truth that seems incorrect. Nobody wants, really, to go to the house of mourning, that is a funeral home or a funeral! If someone seems to actually enjoy being faced with death, we would say that there is likely something wrong with them. But, here in this verse, Solomon puts emotions aside and faces this from the angle of wisdom and making wise decisions in life. Yes, it’s very true that our emotions would rather have us go to a party, ball game, or even work instead of a funeral, but here I am reminded, again, that how we feel isn’t always an accurate determination of what is best for us. Solomon says that funeral attendance is better because in going to a funeral, we are faced with, “the end of man” as he states it. We all shy away from our own mortality, and although it is not pleasant to think about, it certainly is a beneficial thought process to have at times. There have been times in the past where I have said, “life is dangerous, no one gets out alive!” Although, again, unpleasant, it’s both true and fitting in this situation before us.
I have talked recently to a few people about this “tragedy”. They’ve said that the events that have taken place “have really gotten them thinking”. This is the point of the verse. I have been able to encourage them with the reality that, although unpleasant and scarry to think about, the whole point of being reminded of this is not to live in perpetual fear, but rather to live life accordingly. We need to live life to its fullest! That idea isn’t uncommon today. It’s why many people do all sorts of crazy things, like jumping out of perfectly good airplanes or swimming with sharks. It’s also a phrase used in advertising, because without that product they are selling, your life must be missing something, right!? I would doubt that Solomon ever swam with sharks, and he couldn’t have gone sky diving, he probably did buy things compulsively a time or two, as king it is almost in the job description. He did, on the other hand, want us to remember to live in a way in which we are preparing for eternity. Again, we are reminded that we need to be thinking with a “heavenly” mindset not an “earthly” one. In times like these our “earthly” nature would rather us run to drugs or alcohol so that we might avoid these things, but instead, we need to consider the purpose, meaning, and direction of our lives. Where do we stand with God, how are we living in light of that relationship, and what changes do we need to make? This change of perspective will help us because, although we are living here on earth, we are not to be living “earthly” lives, but rather “heavenly” ones. Although this page may seem to be a bit of a “downer”, maybe it is really more of a “word to the wise”.
We are blessed
Hannah Helps 